El Salvador Update – Month 3
November 16th, 2009
Posted by Beth
Hola, it’s been a while …
Frankly, we’ve been busy… and, in all honesty… we’ve had our hands full.
For what it’s worth, we’re learning that parenting an adopted child–especially one who is 8-years old–is so much different than parenting your biological kid. I won’t say 180-degrees-different, more like 180,000 degrees different. (Is their such a thing Math Teachers?)
No dig on the social workers or psychs reading (Sidebar: I remember when we first got home one telling us, “You parent the same way you’d parent Matthew”).
Uh-huh.
In all candidness you gotta parent differently.
Fair warning to my fellow adoptive parents-to-be: If you’re fixin’ to ride the older-child adoption train, it might be all warm and fuzzy to you now. But sooner or later you’re bound to find yourself dealing with, as my mother calls it, “a whole bunch.”
Confession: We underestimated integrating an 8-year old with early childhood years of neglect, abandonment and at least 3 different caregivers during his life… into our home. Only now are we starting to see behaviorial issues surfacing.
We’re trying to integrate Nestor best we know how while the trust-bond forms in this new life he’s now entered. Along the way, we’ve managed to make friends with good resources: Therapists, LCSWs, Children’s Mental Health professionals, Clinicians.
I won’t go into all the details, because if I’ve spoken with you already, then you’ve gotten the scoop. If we haven’t spoken, well, let’s just say that you can call me up anytime you like… when… uggh…. you have 1 to 2 hours.
Or, I’ll just ask for you to pray specifically for Nestor.
Back to one of our favorite verses, hanging in the kitchen now:
”God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind.” (2 Timothy 1:7)
Thanks for the continued prayers.
Last 5 posts by Beth
- El Salvador Update - Month 12
- El Salvador Adoption - Home 1 Month
- El Salvador Adoption - Home - Through Week 3
- El Salvador Adoption - Home - Week 1
- El Salvador Adoption - Home - Day 1
From Don and Cindy Greetham
We love you guys and will definitely keep you all in our prayers!
11/16/09 5:26 PM | Comment Link |
From Eloise Harper
I have kept up with your updates since the beginning and I pray that God will lay a hand on Nester and let him see what a wonderful life and loving family he can have if he will try a little harder. God bless each of you and give you strength to keep on keeping on. Love and I will have your family in my prayers. Eloise
11/16/09 8:11 PM | Comment Link |
From Becky Rossway
Hey Beth,
It was great to see you today and hug your neck. I will be praying for Nestor specifically. And, I’ll get the professional prayers (as I like to call them) in FAHOLO to pray for him also.
11/16/09 8:49 PM | Comment Link |
From Jean & Al
We have been praying for you Beth, Darryl, Matt & Nestor and will continue to pray for Nestor to let the Holy Spirit have a way into his heart to see and understand the love that you all have for him. Love you all and keeping the prayers going up to our Father in Heaven. Aunt Jeanie & Uncle Al
11/16/09 9:59 PM | Comment Link |
From Monica Jennings
We think of you every day and we live in admiration for all of the Logullos! You are a gift to children and their parents in ways that you can’t even imagine. We are all so lucky that you’re willing to share your journey. XO from the Jennings!
11/16/09 11:14 PM | Comment Link |
From Bonnie
your mom has kept me updated and we pray that what ever God has in store you can continue to move forward… May God Bless you and your family and keep you in his loving arms.
11/18/09 6:01 PM | Comment Link |
From Kim @ www.americanmamacita.com
Oh thank you, thank you for still being alive! There are a couple others of us who check in on you all periodically and we were concerned.
And thank you for being so frank and honest since you’ve been home. We need to have our expectations set for what IS, not what we’d like it to be. It’s not your “job” to provide that; but you are. And a testimony to hope in God’s plan even though you’re going through a lot (some of which I know from experience; a lot not yet).
We are praying for you and Nestor in our household. God bless you and your “chosen” child. I pray you start to see His hand moving those emotional mountains Nestor came home with.
11/18/09 11:23 PM | Comment Link |
From Kara
We love you! You are ALWAYS in our prayers! You can do this! <3 Kara
11/26/09 9:08 PM | Comment Link |
From Tina Larson
Hello! I came across your website/blog I believe God intended and it is wonderful to read some of your experiences and hopefully you will have the time or opportunity to make the connection back. We are about 1 month away from going to Beijing, China to bring our new son home who is 6 1/2 years old. My husband, Dan and I have 3 biological children of our own ages 8, 6, and 4 but have always had the desire to adopt as well. I realize that we are in a for a rocky road but hopefully with added advice and assistance from people like you who are living it.
My biggest concern right now is the language barrier as you may understand. My first question is how did you structure your days after you first came back? Would you suggest a certain structured pattern for the day? How soon before you put Nestor in school. Chinese is not as readily available for transitioning into school.
I know you are very busy and if you are able to response that would be great, thanks Tina
11/27/09 3:52 AM | Comment Link |
From Dan Casselberry
Blessings to all of the Logullo family!
They say love conquers all. I am sure there are days you wonder. I hope there are some good days in between the challenges. Ot perhaps I should say I am sure you relish the good moments amid the ongoing challenges. I love the verse from 2 Tim 1:7 glad you are finding it to be a sustaining one for you. There is probably not a doubt that God’s grace is sufficient, just a little amazement how much of it is required!!
Love and prayers, Dan and Cherrie
12/4/09 11:11 AM | Comment Link |
From Jackie Tyner
Hello Beth,
I so much enjoyed reading your blog that I tripped across. My husband and I have made two trips to San Salvador on mission trips – just returning in fact a couple of days ago from our last trip. http://hopechapelmissions.blogspot.com
We are discussing persuing adoption of one of the children we met at one one the orphanages. Your blog really put some reality into those considerations. The boys just stole our hearts. If we don’t adopt, we’ll do something to help the orphans. ex: help with their education, perhaps? They need opportunities to rise above that poverty that I’m sure you saw rampant there on the streets when you visited.
I’m curious how things are going with Nestor now. Would you consider another another entry?
God will surely bless your efforts.
Warmly,
Jackie Tyner
01/19/10 4:44 PM | Comment Link |